[Monday Message] Just Be You

Just be you.

At some point in your childhood, you learned to not be you. You learned to present masks to the world based on the expectations of those around you. You may not even remember anymore who you are at your core.

Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be– because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose and then where are you?
– Fanny Brice

You are not your masks, but it might help to consciously identify them, so you can start to see when you might not be wearing one. Name them. Make a list. What is the mask you use when you’re at work? What is the mask you wear when you are shopping? What is the mask you wear on a first date? What is the mask you wear when you are talking to your mother?

If you could just be you, all the time, you might find that you have a lot of energy freed up to do other things. But your Negative Ego tells you that it would be scary to just be you. Your head says that, if people knew who you really were (even though you may not know who you really are), they wouldn’t like you.

It is easier, we think, to be rejected for who we portray ourselves to be than for who we truly are (when rejection is always about the other person and never about us).

Allow yourself to just be. Stop worrying about what people will think. Stop worrying about keeping up with the trends, the Joneses, or even the standards set forth for you by your parents. Just be you. If you lived alone, and no one else were ever going to see the inside of your bedroom, what color would you paint it? If you lived in a cave on the mountain, what music would you listen to? What fabrics and styles are you comfortable wearing? What are your core values? What makes your heart sing? What are the parts of yourself that you really like, that you might never have acknowledged before? What are the aspects of the people in your life that really resonate for you? What parts of yourself do you want to change (because they make you uncomfortable, not because they don’t “measure up”)?

Just be you. The people who are supposed to be in your life will continue to be in your life and will continue to enjoy you for who you truly are. The last thing that you should have to struggle with is who you innately are. Stop fighting it and just be you.

This post is part of a series called Monday Message, based on that day’s reflection from 365 Days to Enlightenment (authorized versions are currently out of print, working on a new edition). Check back next Monday for another one! You can also sign up for the Daily Message on my mailing list if you’d like to receive a new reflection every day. I also often post them to Instagram, if that’s a medium you enjoy.

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