Last weekend I started feeling overwhelmed. It happens sometimes. Instead of getting better as I used my tools, though, the overwhelm kept increasing. By this weekend, I was almost incapable of getting things done and ended up eating froyo and binge watching TV. Core issues were coming up, and I wasn’t able to get an appointment with any of my colleagues to work through them. My brain got stuck in “I can’t”.
I was working on putting together information for my Full Moon Women’s Circle (which I ended up having to cancel anyway), and I realized, “Hey, it’s a full moon.” Sometimes I’m a master of the obvious. People get emotional and things can be wacky at Full Moon. And then I noticed it was a PISCES Full Moon. ::shudder:: Pisces Full Moon, for me anyway, is even more emotional than a Cancer Full Moon (which is pretty emotional). As I attempted to plow through the information from the various astrologers I follow, I realized that this was a doozy (something about Neptune also being in Pisces, apparently). Sarah Varcas used the phrase “an unnerving dissolution of self.” Lena over at The Power Path said “Holding on to the familiarity of our dysfunctions is breeding suffering and despair.”
I started getting confirmation almost immediately, as I became aware of how many other people were also feeling overwhelmed. This wasn’t just me. Knowing that is helpful, although it doesn’t mitigate the fact that the Giant Squid of Emotions is trying to swallow me whole.
Basically, for a lot of us, those core issues that we’ve been not processing deeply enough are rising up and giving us no choice. I mean, yes, sure, you always have a choice, it’s a Free Will Universe. Believe me, though, dealing with the stuff that’s trying to swallow your face is probably the better option. Write about it so it’s not rolling around in your heady like a snowball, getting bigger. Talk to your shrink, spiritual advisor, or whoever will let you process verbally without trying to fix you. Be present to the feelings so you can move through it. Throw all your tools at it. But deal with it now.