Honoring the Dead

Endings are as inevitable as beginnings. Change is the only constant. Death is a transition. Energy does not vanish.

Grief is a natural reaction to endings. We grieve the end of chapters in our lives as well as the end of volumes. Our society is not particularly good at supporting that, so people can get stuck in that space. Every ending is different, so each instance of grief is different. Placing expectations (how long it’s going to last, what it’s going to feel like, the pattern and flavor of it) on grief can get us stuck too. Stay out of the idea that “I should be over this by now.”

The way to support grief in others is to hold space. Love them, approach them without judgment, let them feel supported. The way to support grief in yourself is to simply allow for the process and to stay out of self-judgment.

Ask yourself “If you let go of the grief, how do you honor those who have gone before, without wallowing in the loss?” The answer is simple: do something in their memory. How would they want to be remembered? What is the highest expression of the energy of their life?

Tell me how you honor your dead. Tell me what the highest expression of the energy of their life is. Tell me what you think they would have you do in their memory.

The end of October/beginning of November is a time where many cultures honor the ancestors. The veil thins, and contact with the other side is easier. It’s a personal grieving month for me, which I am working on shifting into a more healthy place.

If you have challenges with relatives or the ancestors, you might consider taking my annual Healing the Ancestral Lineage workshop on November second.

This piece originally appeared in the October newsletter. If you’d like to receive the newsletter (or the Daily Message or a notification about blog posts) via email, you can sign up here.

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